tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55486132009-11-27T07:41:31.735-05:00Recovering from a broken heart. Trying to forget and piece together the relics of a life which is no longer mine to live. Dealing with legacy issues in a family older than time,that I have oh so long ago been exiled from. Growing up and trying to find why before the sand runs out. See: Cheap therapyK.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.comBlogger456125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1168686172075849092007-01-13T06:01:00.000-05:002007-01-14T12:02:10.856-05:00

ElizabethOct 21stI grandmother,more? no GSniper,jilopyI'm not sure how it started, or if it was 2 dreams or one however...I was at a table surrounded by many people and it was infused with the air of a shady casino, and felt as though there was a crowd around a roulette table, to which I was a part of. However it was track car racing of sorts. The cars were roughly 1/18th size, yet the track

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1168684048221223342007-01-13T05:26:00.000-05:002007-01-23T02:22:05.850-05:00

"The Year of the Pengins"For those w/o A NYTimes Select Acct... ADVERTISING; A Procession of Penguins Arrives on Madison Ave.By STUART ELLIOTTPublished: January 10, 2007NEVER mind what the Chinese calendar says. This is going to be the year of the penguin, at least on Madison Avenue.Penguins have long been popular in advertising, but they have become even more so after three successful movies

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1167990110568917102007-01-05T04:41:00.000-05:002007-01-05T04:41:50.570-05:00

disaster,pitbullcamerabedhome sweet homecourtThere seems to be as natural disaster of some sort, I can't make out what it is in the panic of people running around although Brad Pitt seems to be in front of a news camera with a cocky attitude telling the public "I told you so". I think he has a monkey and...mind you this isn't the guy women go crazy over, he has big glasses, and odd hat and a big

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1167988926306499582007-01-04T04:18:00.000-05:002007-01-05T04:22:06.320-05:00

Law Enforcemnt, Burial grounds, attack dogs, massive, ground shakingcutting gates, fights, undead? night operations.

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1167624784429725882006-12-31T23:11:00.000-05:002006-12-31T23:13:04.533-05:00

I go around and I feel totally, utterly gutted. As though someone reached inside, took everything that mattered and took off like a thief in the middle of the night. Everyday, is the day after, everyday is a mess, everyday the same as the next. I'm bewildered and amazed when I look down and see one foot drag itself in front of the other, I wonder from where they find the energy to do so...to

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1166599945733748162006-12-20T02:31:00.000-05:002006-12-24T12:12:46.930-05:00

I can't recall everything, as always but, I was on top of a building in the city. There was a group exercise or something, a group jumping from one end to another. My cousin G/K was there (I think) and he gave the entire thing attitude and threw a blanket off the side of the building. I got upset and said he could kill someone throwing things off the building as he was. We were next to the park,

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1166347122226957062006-12-17T04:17:00.000-05:002006-12-19T18:39:47.873-05:00

I'm not sure who I was dreaming of, she smelled and felt like Elizabeth, but she wasn't. She talked and moved ,even looked like Noelle. I think Noelle was one of my 1st crushes, once upon a time in middle school. It was fairly short lived though. I later found out that I preferred academics to cheerleaders. Not to say Noelle wasn't smart. She just wasn't rocket scientist smart, sort of in the

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1165999070733954992006-12-13T03:32:00.000-05:002006-12-16T16:59:21.893-05:00

I dreamt...I was in my bed, as of late I'm starting to sleep in the middle, vs the old method of sleeping off to the side, a space saved for a person who will never come. Yet at morning, I always seem to return to my respective corner. I have a small alcove to the top right and left of my bed, flanked by windows covered in sheets of kevlar and large trauma plates. I like the light of 3 exposures

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1165738069936852672006-12-10T03:07:00.000-05:002006-12-11T13:02:19.976-05:00

I think it started in a bed, I was either in a hospital or on a military bed, or so I assumed at first. Primarily because I was in bed with a guy, and in the next bed over there were two more guys. It was either a queen or full size bed....actually in hindsight it could have been a hotel. Then there was this girl who snuck in to bed with me and, she reminded me very much of Elizabeth, but she was

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1165319078112317452006-12-05T06:43:00.000-05:002006-12-08T15:12:49.313-05:00

My biggest problem in trying to deal with getting rid of Elizabeth, may be that i simply recall, far too fondly, what it used to mean to be happy. Perhaps that I recall what it is to be happy. Even when I was with her, I never took the sheer, unadulterated happiness for granted. I never knew what happiness could truly be till I was with her. After being so blissfully happy for so long...I had

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1165004548444997372006-12-01T15:22:00.000-05:002006-12-01T15:22:28.620-05:00

There was a odd dream, I was at my parents house in ct, and via either email, or a series of calls I got together with someone I once went out with in reality. She was one of those awkward first dates after not being with anyone for such a long time, a proper humanitarian, out to save the world. She'd seen the 3rd world...urban studies. (Is there such a thing as negative chemistry?) I can't

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1164650891599285892006-11-27T13:07:00.000-05:002006-11-27T13:08:11.636-05:00

long dreamlots of travel , many countries,beruit or hollandhostange situationstiar case. 50 notemoney machineIn what what a very long convoluted dream, I was somehow in Amsterdam ( I think) and I was across a seemingly deserted street when I saw two glass doors about 400 feet out with masked gun men and mp5 machine guns (odd since they are only used in law enforcement) I then panned to my side of

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1164313606995153162006-11-23T15:26:00.000-05:002006-11-23T15:26:47.016-05:00

This years events started going downhill before they even began. I believe a few days prior to heading to CT I was out and about and I received a call that there would be a function at the purple house. Said owners of said house, refer to theirs as the "new house" (despite the fact several homes have been bought since) and are generally regarded as dicks. However family is family and I said I

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1164142020562617892006-11-21T15:46:00.000-05:002006-11-21T15:51:37.153-05:00

Amongst many painful reminds of what was...to add to the ever growing list of thing I can't bring myself/breaks my heart to do...Go to MOMAView Starry Night by Van Goh Eat blue M&M's Go to California without herDate after Elizabethfallout of love...and now...I cannot see Mission Impossible 3, because thinking about doing so...only reminds me of Mission Impossible 2, and thus breaks my heart to

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1163453311050531382006-11-13T16:27:00.000-05:002006-11-13T16:28:31.070-05:00

I can't help but feel, at lest part of me feels what a tragic loss Elizabeth was...I'm still devastated, I still cry(not really), I still lose any and all control, I have no more passion...for anything. It's the mundane repeating itself. I pray that she will return and yet...part of me knows these wishes shall never come in to fruition, while another part of me does not want them to.The logic

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1163248759828370752006-11-11T07:11:00.000-05:002006-11-11T07:39:19.860-05:00

Having the sort of auto I have, is like dating a supermodel...who cheats. In 2 months ago It had close to 10,000usd worth of work from the dealership(2 trips), and then last month the warranty expired. Since then...1. broken bonnet sensor2. broken door latch sensor3. Cd player error4. Rear wiper 5. Coolant leak6. The return of the coolant leakAll problems have been fixed, however I think I may

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1162945111892324332006-11-07T18:39:00.000-05:002006-11-07T19:18:32.256-05:00

I know I did...I didn't actually vote like this...but I was tempted...Ahh our old freind Papa Smurf. Won'the ever be able to afford his rent?Is public housing really that hard to get?As a side note, I went to the RTDH (Rent is too dam high) website and...sigh.He has the worst page, with repeating music and he's selling his book " A vet for life"....le sigh. Now if the book was "Soldier for Life"

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1162332855977517462006-10-31T17:14:00.000-05:002006-11-05T12:45:21.756-05:00

immunoglobulin dress up as for Halloween?A Immunio-Goblin...

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1160504739323872042006-10-10T14:05:00.000-04:002006-10-10T14:25:39.506-04:00

Much has happened, and much has remained stagnate, yet this is fresh so this ferments it's way to the top. Yes, I am a New Yorker....Although no one would believe it. I now spend increasingly less time in NY, and secretly long for a one or two bedroom apartment in Mexico City with Elizabeth where we could be domestic together. (secretly wishing for things that can never happen in this reality).

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1156965554191891302006-08-30T15:18:00.000-04:002006-09-16T12:22:45.003-04:00

I'm the epitome of stupidity. I made the mistake of reading the last 100 emails. Want to know what I look like? Quick, go over to your encyclopedia and now look up stupidity, right between Homer J. Simpson (although well intentioned) and GW Bush (evil fucking bastard). I don't know what makes me feel worse, the fact that I re-read so much, the fact I looked at some of the pictures again, or the

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1156781029749720152006-08-28T12:02:00.000-04:002006-08-28T12:05:13.406-04:00

I was married, I had a seemingly wonderful life and then..I think my wife died. I'm not sure who she was or how exactly it was that she died. She may have been killed, our children, a boy and a girl were kidnapped. We then found out it was Scorpius, it came to be in a revelation. So we went to get them back, and it was a modern Italian type place, loads of glass. However there were about 8 kids.

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1156433179572109312006-08-24T11:24:00.000-04:002006-08-30T14:34:27.033-04:00

An old dream I wrote down, but have only recently found (a few months old, prior to the last one about Elizabeth)I dreamt a long seemingly endless dream....It started out wonderfully, Elizabeth and myself, in love and together. I was happy and nothing more could I have asked for. I had my world again and she was it. We were in a park...I bought us balloons. We tied them together and said "

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1156014322519117252006-08-19T15:04:00.000-04:002006-08-22T12:56:38.836-04:00

I had a dream in which I was chasing Elizabeth through a series of corridors, and then in the dream it dawned on me I was dreaming, I stopped running. (Yet I did not fully control the dream, I could not pick and choose things of my own free will) All I wanted was to find her again, to catch up with her again. Then I found myself laying down with Elizabeth, I laid down slightly on top of her, I

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1155873152995906312006-08-17T23:51:00.000-04:002006-08-17T23:52:33.016-04:00

elizabeth,nynever beendoor, parents?breakfast...time?ponga chair, dining room,clothes,no sexwhite robe,laundryclosure...but it never came...hug...but it never happened...close...like ex lovers, or a long married couple. This dream is many months old..once again I regret not immediately writing the entire thing out. A few notes I guess...ummm only one actually. Elizabeth never visited me in NY and

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5548613.post-1154846812072037932006-08-06T02:46:00.000-04:002006-08-06T02:49:53.506-04:00

I made the grave mistake of recalling our first night out. How we broke every rule I only learned about later. How I simply could not help but getting lost in all the fascination facets of her being. How I simply needed to hear her voice...I didn’t care what she said, it was all amazing. Nothing she said would bore me. Everything about her amazed me…her intelligence, her strength, her character,

K.S.G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02848004382263092240noreply@blogger.com0