As a former logistics officer....

My new all time favorite killing-time oriented site
I may very well spend my Monday..umm Tuesday here...there...where have you.

As a former logistics officer that is.

I almost forgot how much I used to enjoy synergy, although this has room for improvement...like duct taping that box closed for starters.

¶ 11/14/2005 04:06:00 AM //

Oh...I miss Sarilla...anyways this is a diffrent Sarilla (K'Sara, the K stands for Kid)

She said:
//You can't expect to understand the world without first understanding yourself.//(that was me)

Now you're just baiting me! ; )

Yes, that is true; we understand the world through the picture of our own experience. But at the same time we learn about ourselves by trying to understand others, too. And usually allowing our perceptions to merge a bit with others helps mellow an otherwise pungent personal view of the world. ie, we get our rough edges knocked off by being around, in and among other human beings.

you can call me kid if you want to. I really am one. : )

To which I replied...

I feel I can understand the world with a open mind and base my learning on the experience of others/ In most situations it's the only option we have. It's the only way anything gets done. One person can not possibly experience everything. All I will ever know is all I've been told and all I've seen.

However, I have found other people teach me very little about myself. Everyone loves to think they have "been there". Or they know someone like yourself, or they were once like yourself IE: every one says they were young...thus they know what your going through for they were once young, or that they once thought they were in love..etc etc. They speak of things they have no idea about.

Those who try to teach you about the world only do so through their jaded filter, through their lens, thus dictating the spin, thus dictating your perceptions. I thus take everything with a handful of rock salt. Everyone that is except maybe Jim Leherer.

You may not realize this but...as a whole..the human race is pretty disgusting. Greed, envy and ignorance are some of the hallmarks of the human race. A person who thinks the world is a wonderful place is just not looking nearly hard enough. Narrow mindedness is bliss. Those who only live in their world, are ignorant to the crisis the world constantly finds it self in.

I'm as guilty as the next...but at lest I won't lie aboot (haha aboot) it and pretend it doesn't exist.

All I'm going to say is...I'm a horrible person, and this is a secret the world kept from me, and I learned the hard way. I had to sit down with myself in order to find out how...how awful I was. How god forsaken repulsive I was. I was ignorant to the evil that was within myself.
I was totally oblivious to all this within myself and so much more...until someone I used to know woke me. No one told me this, I had to piece it together for myself. She didn't say it or connect the dots,...but I eventually got the hint.

Imagine what the world would be if Hitler tried to isolate himself...

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I don't recall coming out and posting this (the last portion)
So there you go...Out in the open, I am one fucked up evil human being. (if you can even call me that)I try and repent by understanding myself, not for myself, but for the memories of what could have been...had I been a good person. I am not.

I try to distance myself emotionally from the civilian population because I feel it makes the world a better place. We all have to do our part. I do mine

¶ 11/10/2005 04:35:00 AM //

trees missing, NYC inspectors, the city cutting down trees..etc etc

I woke up in the morning after a storm and looked out my window before exiting tot he main ,open area of my bedroom. then I had to do a double take and I noticed my yard was without trees (Tree's in my town are a hassle...IE: the one that fell on the garage and crushed 2 of the cars , one inside and the other that was outside)

I looked out and at first though a branch (that needed to be chopped off) had fallen, however , I then noticed that a entire row had been wiped clean. One tree was actually about 300 yards off in another tree. I stepped outside and my yard seemed much larger, the driveway now four car lengths wide. The tree had missed the porsche and none of the cars were damaged, I then turned around and noticed our (small)street was covered in debris. I noticed smurfs...(smurfs being UN personnel...not the cartoon characters...although that analogy never made sense to me..I mean... smurfs wear white hats.) They may have been con -ed I noticed NYC something on their hats, so I assumed maybe DOB (department of buildings) or EPA (environmental protection agency), Park rangers wear green..so not them. They were cleaning up the mess and so I asked if they would do all the work. The person, older guy,...white beard, glasses, collar shirt, professor type, said they would take care of everything on my property. I then pointed to the tree that had been blown away in to the other tree. He said that was their problem.

I really shouldn't wait so long to write dreams down...I find myself not being able recall nearly enough.

Ironically enough, 2 days later a good size branch (perhaps 2-300lb’s) came crashing down.

¶ 11/08/2005 07:18:00 PM //

So in NY we pretty much know which initiatives are going to pass/who is going to win the mayoral race (Bloomy (of Bloomy media )w/ the 30+ point lead despite Ferrer's all star democratic horse and pony show.)


However I still did my homework and after roughly 3-4 hours of hunting and reading and watching….I came to the conclusion of not trusting the polls. Especially with all the sure fire winners on the ticket.


Take Jimmy McMillan (AKA Papa Smurf) for example




Hmmm now your wondering “RDH” party? What’s that? Well…there are a wide variety of parties in NY. His happens to be the “Rent is too dam high” party.


What are his politics out side the obvious? Well according to the printed voter guide, nothing. We can’t talk about anything because the “rent is just too god dam high”. Education? No…”the rent is too dam high” (I think you get the picture.)

One year war vet? Is that even possible without injury?


How about the position of Public Advocate?

Meet Jim Lesczynski of the LBT (libertarian) party.


You may recognize him of his parties past semi-famous stunts. He’s also been on the Daily a few times.

So what does a vote for Jim mean?
Well …in a nutshell he will eliminate the position of public advocate.

“If I am elected Public Advocate I promise to report to work just long enough to fire the staff and padlock the office.”


In other news I found out who was behind the funky Brooklyn signage Which I have mentioned in the past. (that has apparently been around forever, I just never noticed)

Meet Marty Markowitz, president of Brooklyn.



Now meet some his signs.








So go forth…vote …


And by the way….What the fuck is up with Frenchie? (Is it even possible for a nation to retreat from itself?)

¶ 11/07/2005 08:40:00 PM //

I’ve been stuck on dial up (26.4) for the past week or so…Thus the belated/semi required/ 1st annual Halloween super scary fun time post! Yippee!


Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack:

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don't need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Don't be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset--life.

More info here

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Left over candy as of 11.05.05




P.S. most of this was lifted off of ….I’m not sure.
However if you google Zombie Survival…well there you go.

P.S.S. I think I’m too in to lost…
My cell phone may be starting to reflect this…





Meh, I don’t think it’s doing it for me. (what that it is,….just don’t ask)

¶ 11/06/2005 07:28:00 PM //

I once wanted to join the military…actually my parents wanted me to when I was younger, however they never got the opportunity to see their officer as they disposed of me at an early-ish age. High school –kick outs don’t get in to Officer Training School. I always felt an intrinsic duty to serve my country of birth and even come from a military tradition of sorts. My mothers side has the decorated war heros/officers and my father side the nasa engineer-types/military sub contracting firms, etc (it’s boom times for all factions).

I deemed this not possible and I moved on…however later on, while I was with Elizabeth. I found the need return to me and I expressed my wishes. I considered something even as mundane as the national guard or even air guard. I even went as far as to take a practice ASVAB test and scored in the top percentile. (an A+ of sorts). I started/worked my up to a regimen of 1000 push ups ,500 sit ups 100 pull ups every morning. My shoulder killed, and yet I worked through it.

I knew deep inside I could never be a hero to Elizabeth. She did not need saving, she was her own hero. She inspired herself, propelled herself, worked so hard, to be proud of her self. She did not need a hero.
There was actually no reason that Elizabeth needed me. There was nothing outside of love that I could really offer her. She had everything she will ever need all within herself. I always thought myself so lucky, to have someone, like her in my life. That I loved her, and she loved me(so I assumed), and it was so…bliss. Untainted by the material world. She had no need for me outside of love, and yet I needed her for so much more. I am not nearly as strong as she is.

I could never kill for myself, such an act is pure greed, however for her… for her I would do anything. I am a true fanatic…she is my cause…my cause has been lost so long ago.

I was serious in my sincerity to serve the nation, be the means ever so mundane. I had assisted in developing systems now in wide spread operations in most if not all theaters, I easily saw how I could be a asset. (In addition to various past experiences).

This was even after the incident (getting shot/losing friends/co-workers/surgery/re-hab etc) I was willing to be a grunt if need be. However, at the time I felt I was responsible to Elizabeth.

On the night I shared my feelings, she cried that it wasn’t fair. I told her nothing was yet cemented, that these were ideas swirling in my mind and furthermore that her input was vital. On the other hand I felt it wasn’t fair to me that she worked with the worlds deadliest viruses separated by only a thin sheet of plastic (another one of the family ventures…sort of). I told her it was parallel to me fighting on the front lines. I also told her that I would never stop her from pursing what she loved, and that she should continue as long as it makes her happy (oh how she loved viruses).

I can’t recall whether she just left in a fit, and came back the next day, or said it on the spot…but she made me so proud. She said I was right…that it wasn’t fair. I urged her to purse her dreams. That even if I shipped off…I would be back for up to a month at a time. I would stay in contact.

The topic sort of died there…I was disqualified from enlisting due to past “incidents”. However…I now find myself without meaning, and still in decent enough condition to meet the pre-requirements for joining up.
I need to make a few omissions…but I have no paper trails of such things.

I’m a bit older, however for some reason I now feel they are getting pretty desperate, and …I find myself wishing I could disappear from my life…so why not?
I have literally nothing to lose with the expectation of things I wish to lose. (thinking for myself)

I’ve been through formal training with a few agencies, I have a good idea of what I’m getting in to, I think my mind is semi clear...

Although I’d hate to see these go…



On the other hand I may even get myself some new merit badges.



In other news…I’m thinking indoctrination at a young age works!

¶ 11/05/2005 08:50:00 PM //

¶ 11/02/2005 05:43:00 PM //