It’s been one of those weeks… well perhaps one of those years.

The problems with the electrical and Department of buildings I’ve talked about to death, and seeing as how a new month is upon us it almost seems time that an entire list of new things goes wrong.

I had not shaved in weeks as we had no power, so they other day after taking a shower I thought it was about time to trim my beard so when I pull out the Norelco (t990) …It’s dead. I assume its because I had not charged it so I pull out the back up to check the battery and it’s also dead so I charge both units and go about cleaning up the place/running errands.

Later that night I checked the Remington and it worked just fine, however the Norelco with its “1 hour quick charge” was full of life as a rock.

Now this would be the 2nd time the Norelco has died on me and so it had to be taken in for service. I dug up the receipts to find it lasted exactly one year to the day before dieing. The 1st time it died it was only 2 months old.

Seeing as how I’ve written here for a year their may be some sort of record of it. I called the place and the guy had a real attitude. He told me to bring it down. Which I did only to find it was the same condescending bastard the 1st time. I played it super diplomatic and it was an uphill fight just to get him to acknowledge it was a Norelco.

Hopefully I’ll get it back soon. The Remington never dies however ..it has a few problems. First off it pulls instead of cuts at times which be it a bit painful is doable. What however is not is the length function. What happens is if I press down too hard it collapses and I go from say a well trimmed beard to a clean shave in just one spot… It was the main reason I bought the Norelco. I wish there was a better one I could buy however there is not.

It’s just a razor.. I paid my bills and blew through what little cash I had and all was still relatively well. I would get a new razor and I even had the courage to pre order Grand Theft Auto San Andreas (it helps take me away…but I’m really looking forward to the next gran tursimo game...as far as entertainment goes)

The day is semi productive. I had a huge con ed bill (1800usd) I called them up and asked if I could wait a month or 2 before paying … they said it wouldn’t be a problem. Later I called the electrician and asked if I could get a new meter (as the old one spins like there is no tomorrow) and he said I still needed permits and if it takes 6 weeks it takes 6 weeks, he mentioned how the system is fucked so on and so forth. This was sort of expected though.

It’s hard because it means I will have to evict tenants and just hope they find a new place and I have to really go to work on bringing everything up to code and getting a certificate of occupancy (LOTS of work and lots of $)


Then today….

Hurricane such and such is coming though and last time it took a huge branch off a tree… and this time… it also left its calling card.

I was wrapping up and storing away the last of the conduit cables, and I heard a small crash… I paid it no mind hoping it was just a small branch. However on my way to bed I notice a bit of the ceiling dangling and I have a leak in the roof. I was baffled as to what was above the space thinking it was my closet .

I thought it was leaking somewhere and traveling along thus leaking at this point. I see just so many layers of old paint and the plaster is all wet to the touch. It seems as though it’s all about to fall.

Later I figured out it was the crawl space. I used to be able to get in the crawl space however my shoulders are a bit too built up so I can only get one arm and my head in. I found the leak and threw a tarp in there the best I could hoping it would save what’s left of the downstairs ceiling.

The worst thing is just a few years ago I paid 22,000usd to have a new roof put in. It’s like the house just keeps taking more and more and I have nothing to show for it (except a light switch and a safe freshly void of any US currency)

I would be out of my mind however I trying to constrain myself… I watched a movie while monitoring the leak, which helped to displace my mind. “A certain kind of death” it is about the process, which the bodies / assets of those without next of kin go through in Los Angeles. It was somewhat sad, very graphic. It was definitely a good movie. It helped my mind to wonder.

I had originally planned on a surreal post But as of late it seems every hurricane , seems to leave its calling card …it’s not like I’m even in Florida.
I hope today will be a better day. It just seems as though i've been hexed.

However, my tenants may have just bought themselves an extra two months.

¶ 9/29/2004 05:28:00 AM //

Short post (yippee)

My father went back to CT a about a week ago and was told to call his Doctors offices to set up an appointment for surgery (he has a neurological implant which the battery needs to be changed every few years)

Perhaps a day later he’s back at my place. Apparently he called them up and they had already scheduled something for the next day at 9 am.

I say it’s a shame in hindsight…if he had the operation only a month earlier he would had been with Clinton and co.

Back to the topic… My father then asks me for medication he left here as he inadvertently picked up an empty bottle. … so I ran up and looked in the safe…
I was in a bit of a panic since it wasn’t on the top
I Was tearing through the safe. Eventually I got the keys to the safety deposit boxes in the safe only to find my crushed heart… It was Elizabeth’s engagement ring.

I had saved for so many years to be able to afford it,.. and I took such care in picking out every detail. Making sure the size was right (thank you Sarilla). Making sure the stones were from Antarctica and not from any war torn region. Making sure they had the polar bear etching.

I hesitated for such a long time in buying it. I always shopped but as soon as I could afford what I wanted I would see another ring… something more fitting for her.

Elizabeth was very cosmopolitan, contemporary and elegant in her taste and style… I wanted a ring that would be just that…

Though the more I look at it… the ring may have a bit much flash too it…I would however argue it would only dim in contrast to the sparkle of her eyes and the glow of her smile (when she so choose to grace us)

I tried to keep my composure got up and there on the top shelf was my fathers medication… I threw the mess I had made back in to the safe and the ring I stuffed in my pocket. My father got his meds and went off on his way. I tried not to show anything.

I don’t know what to do with it… I lock it up ,
And try to forget about it. I could sell it however…
I don’t think I could bring my self to sell it. Thanks to the bush admin it has doubled in value (7 figures to start with…doubled)

Maybe I should ask some random person to marry me and keep going till I get a yes… and when I do ...I too can be a zombie…

Elizabeth spoiled me for the rest…had I not known perfection I would had been more than happy as a zombie ..but Elizabeth… Such a brilliant, intelligent, funny, witty, sexy, cute, adorable, warm, caring, person, with such strength , such integrity, so much passion, so much dedication….

Spoiled forever.

¶ 9/27/2004 01:46:00 PM //

I had dreams last night…as most dreams they were beyond explanation.


The problems with the place in NY just grow and grow. This will prove to be above par boring so you can just skip the next paragraph (or 5).

I went down to the electricians office with the documents proving the status of the place however. I was told they were not sufficient. The secretary I met with got on the horn with DOB (department of buildings) who advised her in a case where no “certificate of occupation” was available that I needed a letter of “no objection” .. it sounds very “international warcrimes-ish” (iraq occupation.. everyone objecting .etc)

On the phone they said 100usd (great!) ..later at DOB after running around all day I finally got a slip of paper which listed what they needed… and 100usd and one days work turned to 1,000usd and 6 weeks work.

At one point I was in line, hadn’t showered, crude still in my eyes under the shades…9 in the morning,.. trying just to stand up straight and keep my eyes open, I went to myself ”fuck this” went home, slept (having only gotten a hour of sleep the night ..umm morning.. umm one hour of sleep ).

I got on the horn with the G (affiliated with local “Russians” ) and said if he could grease the wheels as a favor. He said what he could do and a few hours later… he told me nothing could be done…and in his thick accent told me “ yove cant fvit city hall” . some kingpin he turned out to be.

Is their no one I can bribe? Any one? … stupid tyranny pretending to be a democracy.

Bush wins I move to Canada (mexico is a bit painful)

My dream reminded me much of the “Boston incident” with Elizabeth. .. I don’t know how super spy it was but...it was amazing.

Elizabeth was vacationing along the eastern seaboard (I guess) and one of her stops was in boston for 3 or so days… so we arranged for I to get a room one floor above hers (I think.. can’t be sure) and meet her at the hotel. When I arrived, I would take my room # write it upside down / back to front in my car window… I parked in the middle of nowhere as to be spotted easily however in hindsight perhaps it was not such a good maneuver. (as she could easily be spotted) .

I remember waiting the entire day keeping and eye on my car through a telephoto lens ,..hoping to snap a shot of Elizabeth as she checked the car… A lot of the day I spied on things in the skyline whilst waiting for her. It felt as though I should had been smoking.

I always said Elizabeth was the ideal bond girl… I did not have a chance to snap a photo of her going up to the car because she had already done it ala “super spy”.

She was always understanding of my love of my 1st car… I called it my 1st love.. she was very sweet to accept #2… she suggested I drive it to boston so I could have my 1st love and my 2nd at one time… ahh but driving the eclipse is a choir in contrast to the convertible I had.

She knocked my door and my heart jumped.. on the other side I knew were amazing things…an amazing creature whom I dearly loved and yet.. I wanted to hold out a bit more...like an agonizing wait to close to a finish. we had not seen each other for month.

I looked through the peep hole and there she was...she took my breath away…pacing...biting her lips… looking very nerves...and finally when I opened the door the room lit up and…

She should have been a bond girl… had she a weapon I would have been a dead man (but happy) she rushed me and “attacked me” with affection. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me and in a move that is reminiscent of so many movies we spun hugged...and she kissed me…

In that moment…all those months we had been apart.. all the time waiting.. it vanished.. it never was… we picked up where we left off…as we melted in to one another madly deeply passionately in love, you could not have guessed we had been along for so long.

There was so much I wanted to do however.. we could only do so much. I would had liked to seen the town (museum of science...with a scientist) with her however… only the nights were ours.


Better content soon (I promise) ..just let me deal with the DOB … god it’s to the point of ad nauseaum as this juncture.

¶ 9/26/2004 08:48:00 PM //

-Mighty Mouse.

I was watching a very bad movie and they mentioned him and… it’s almost a romantic notion. So much strength, so much integrity from such a small mouse. Something so small yet so righteous and defiant in the face of tyranny (see: bush admin) Figures, heroes, be they ever so fictitious embolden the feeble and weak to rise up. They serve to inspire the small and meek. They inspire people to save the day.

Thus mighty mouse I think embodies a lot of the characteristics in terms of character that we should all aspire to. We should all be so defiant in the face of Goliath.

Then again… We should all aspire to be more like Elizabeth… but that’s off topic.


-If you give me a ride I’ll give you a ride.

This happened a few weeks ago however I’m working on a old word doc.

I was driving around in the saab like a mad man as of late... as I did when I was 16.
When I was 16 I did not care… Then I met Elizabeth and consequently started to care/started driving like a little old lady (in the US in civilian autos) Actually Elizabeths driving used to scare me… I would be worried is all, though she was very capable (the fact she drove stick shift just made her even sexier)

Well suffice to say I no longer hold any regard towards my health / well being hence forth the driving like a madman. … this has decided to take a toll on the still fairly new saab.

I took it over to Saab (which it’s a pain to find their dealership outside of Long Island)

Tangit- the town next to the one I grew up in CT. It was a small town with not lots of shops or activities (besides the waterfront) and lots of new money. (see: bush family) So one year a saab dealership opened up… within 2 months every driveway had a saab…the following year a land rover shop opened up and sure enough in every driveway next to the saab.

I took it in for a tune up (600usd..ouch) and a oil change. Hung a round a bit however as I pulled up I noticed a vw jetta off to the side and it was having engine problems (so I am guessing by the popped hood). Later as I was coming out the attendant left my car on the side walk and as I approached my car I noticed the girl approaching me. I assumed she wanted a jump start or something…this seemed odd as I was right by a service department (why not ask them? )

Single handedly she managed to catch me totally off guard and said to me either the most disgusting thing I have ever heard said to me or the most awkward or perhaps the most flattering (from a stranger)

“if you give me a ride I’ll give you a ride”

I thought it was a shame… had she been civilized I would had been more than happy to.
Also I thought about how could she be so reckless with herself? Does she not know I’m a nut? (I looked it)

I forgot my words but it was along the lines of a diplomatic declination of her offer.


-Flowers

Once upon a time… I had these day dreams of living in NY with Elizabeth and how possibly every weekend.. I would sneak out of bed before she did and escape to the corner florist and greet her with fresh flowers and breakfast when she woke up. Some days perhaps a disaster trying to make strawberry crepes (as she had for dinner one night) or some days I would cheat and grab something form a local shop… but always flowers.

Another scenario ..perhaps every day on my way back form the office… I would greet her in my suit and tie with a bouquet of flowers… where all the flowers would go I do not know hence the once a week or twice a week seemed more applicable. Also her being such a hard dedicated person, she would work far more hours than I would.

I would have lived for her.
She lives to save the world, to save humanity, to save you.

My name will (maybe it already has been) etched in to the halls of the family house over seas, never to be heard of again… her name will be synonymous with biomedical research.

She will win Nobel prizes, and I will have warrants issued for my arrest.

She is a better person and deserved better. (than me)


- Picasa

I tried,… picasa has really grown on me. I really love this software. It is from google and it is free and it is great. It’s used to sort /enhance/organize photos.

Mac users will dismiss it, however pc users will swoon.

Be forewarned, in my case in brought back many painful memories via old photos she sent to me. However, that is not the fault of the software, which is impeccable.

Go git

-Tired

These last few days.. I have had so much work around the house and it has been both mentally and physically draining.

The fact it seems at time the person I’m working with never went to college for electrical engineering (he did) . I find myself doing the theory and layout/ directing the lay out of some critical items, having to recall theory from the 1st year of UNI is not pleasant, it made my brain in to Swiss cheese the 1st time around. )

Then the physical tasks, running up and downstairs a good 100-150 times (today I found myself on the roof)
Carrying spools of 4-8awg conduit cables (100-250lbs 45-120kgs) running wire through walls, tearing in to conduit cables, tearing in to sheet rock, daily clean ups of messes which could only be described as apocalyptic.

I find myself not being able to breath. Like my lungs are going to tear though my rib cage. I’m gasping however no air is getting in. My head throbs non stop at times. Occasionally I have a spasms I can’t control and lots of twitching. (its not dehydration)

Members of my family are involved so I have to continue to put my best face forward, but I don’t know how long I can hide the fact I’m dieing. Granted the non stop hard work (non stop combination of mental/hard labor) is something I can’t say I’m accustom to (3 weeks and going)

I found myself passed out once one the living room floor and awoke to my name being called over the 2 way radio for a confirmation on a circuit.

At the rate these family functions keep happening (once a month,) the involvement of the family on this project. I fear they may soon find out about the cancer. I’m guessing they are getting close but I tell them it’s a rash… I try not to give away too much.

It is with certain guarantees that if this is the case, if they find out , I will have to abandon everything and leave.

If I stay my wishes won’t be seen. If I disappear… without and logistics/without a plan I may very well be homeless again.

The trick to disappearing and staying out of site is… no paper trail.
And that means 9,900usd in pocket and no more. That means south America.

No car, no credit cards (that I never use) , and never come back to my house…
It’s not as though I’m going to live forever…


On that note I also found out my grandfather didn’t have heart attack… he committed suicide.

So the official story is 2 grandfathers , 2 heart attacks.

The reality is one assassination and one suicide and I’m going to die of cancer (unless the broken hearts gets me 1st)

¶ 9/19/2004 01:59:00 AM //

So the saga continues however thier was a bit of a break through 2-3 days ago.

Going around was a contemplation of replacing the old wires/ the best vector at which to approach the tearing down of the walls. This entire idea was one I wanted to stay as far away from as possible.

The next morning on a fluke we started opening all the fixtures/ outlets regardless of their exterior conditions , (also to try to gain a grasp form which ways are the wires going) and in S’s room we found
A burnt bit of conduit piping fused by the wire.

We had seen this before so it wasn’t thought of being as a big deal. The wires in the kitchen after all were all fried. So we put off testing the circuit post this discovery.

Later in the day at the end of our nerves we reconnected the circuit at the point in which we determined it was good up till tested the wire and…EURIKA! It worked.

The last 3 weeks it seemed over and over we fixed every problem but the main problem (including a quick release system for the garden hose) However now we finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

Then we got a call form the electrician who did the service upgrade. IT turns out our place was labeled in correctly by the building departments and a certificate of occupancy was needed in order to prove the status of the place. Thus we went to down to the buildings department and while I was expecting papers I got…microfilm. (is this dob or the kgb?)

The certificate of occupancy was no where to be found. We called up the contractor and they told us to go to DOB and get the proof (the run around begins) however on a original document I found a frame permit which indicated the occupancy. It was dated circa 1884 however I feel it should be sufficient enough.

So I hope it works out , it does cost me a bit of sleep at night.

Last night I was in line at home depot buying a new fixture for the bathroom along with a few other things and that’s when it happen. After weeks of dumping piles of cash I ran out of liquid assets. I am broke. I had to sell off some gold bars to even get this far.
However I didn’t mind because we knew the problem and were on our way.


This morning I got up to find hurricane ivan (or frances) hit NY today in its weakened state took a branch off a tree and through it in to a cemetery…if you go back in the blog a branch perhaps a year ago took out my garage and 2 cars. This one was a fraction of the size but I would say still a solid 1000lbs thank god there was no damage. It fell on the cemetery and tree could be debated as to who it belongs too (as it has engulfed the fence) So I’m hopeing for no law suit. After all they have an army of landscapers.


Right now… I’m taking a breather. Some time to myself. We just finished trouble shooting and repairing the kitchen light. We attacked the bathroom fixture and put a new one in and the main problem has been finally fixed. I am a bit on edge and go hunting every time I think I smell smoke (as that’s what indicated the triggering of the problem so many days ago)

There is still lots to do /that needs to get done however its mostly cosmetic.

Con ed still needs to upgrade on their end and the wires. (pending the mess with DOB)
Also a need meter. One new line has yet to go in to the kitchen (for recessed lighting and microwave)
The ceilings that were torn down need to be placed back. A bit repainted. So on and so forth.

However as of now, I’m catching up on some wide-angle (pbs documentaries) and typing this… even managed to eat something.

I haven’t had time to think so… I haven’t had time to ask myself why.

Now that I think about it… I don’t know why. Why fix this place?

Perhaps it is my nature.

¶ 9/18/2004 06:08:00 PM //

never buy an old house never buy an old house never buy an old house.


It started all so innocently,..

I mentioned the electrical problem a few days (weeks?) ago and since then half of the house has had no lights.

Later went downstairs found out it was a short. The wire was getting wicked hot, and sparks were spewing.
SO I disconnected it and though it was a quick fix…. Woe is me.

I’ll try not to go in to too much detail (for once) however its been perhaps 2 weeks and 17,000 usd later…

-We performed a total service upgrade (which we are still waiting for city inspectors and con ed)
-New breakers/box’s new wires out to the poll (con ed will replace form the polls)
-We did a upgrade on the existing wire that went form the a panel to the b panel. (in hind site maybe we should have gone w/ 4awg)

umm that’s it I guess… on the way to finding the short (which we have yet to find) we tore apart half of the basement only to find out the short happens somewhere upstairs. Since the walls upstairs are plaster and not sheet rock it becomes almost impossible to just cut in to them.

We just kept discovering so many problems along the way and as of now my liquid assets amount to a pile of change on the table. It just seems like every time I hear the words “home depot” I cringe and know it’s going to cost me a few thousand .

Yesterday we spent the entire day tearing sheet rock apart…today I guess a few new circuits in the basement that lead up tot the new kitchen. .

The thought of city inspectors make my stomach turn but now…it’s the thought of “what if it doesn’t get fixed?”

The last few weeks has been such chaos. No wifi , no desktop , no tv , no laundry, no dishwasher, no microwave,
Its like being in the not so distant apocalyptic future Kevin Cosner keeps seeming to hope for.

In a few moments I’ll go in to the hot basement…only to emerge 8-10 hours later covered in debris and coughing up a lung.

So far no one has moved out however ..at this rate I see everyone fidgeting and one tenant even expressed the notion to a worker that he is moving out as soon as he finds suitable accommodations. (the same one who fucked with the breakers when I asked him not to )

On the plus side the portion of the house which does work… since the panel upgrade the lights are all brighter. (in half the house)

¶ 9/15/2004 11:04:00 AM //

If Elizabeth knew I all I had been through would she come back?

In my heart of hearts, It both pains me and makes me proud to say no she would not.
The warmest most caring person I have ever know is after all referred to by her admirers as the ice princess. Such a warm safe comforting inside and such a cold harsh exterior.

What about if she knew about the cancer?
The ice princess has wall that are too high for us mortals to climb. I can’t help but occasionally feel I slipped through some crack or perhaps caught her during the changing of the guards whilst her guard was down, and by some freak occurrence I got in.

She is not like the rest, she is strong vibrant and will succeed. I am more and more so the polar opposite. This I always knew , and it always it was the one thought that would terrify me, to be on the outside, to become unloved by the one I loved so dearly cherished. I had heard stories of what would happen to others and occasionally ask her for some compassion for those on the outside fore they do not know what it is to be you and vice versa.

I pleaded once that she try and be a bit warmer. That she casts a spell and as a result those around her do not know what they do. They are as I. Entranced by radiance.

Elizabeth is more than a beautiful face on a stunning body, So much more. Brilliance gets redefined at her every pen stroke in the lab. Once on the inside, She is such a sweet caring person. She does not paint in broad strokes with her affection. She articulates her love via small fine points as well as the blatant expressions associated with such relationships.

She will always be beautiful, a “pretty person” and she would never know what it feels like to be ugly. She will hopefully never know pain.



denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance

I’m sorry to say but I treated her leaving as some do death. After all she did simply vanish form my life. Though she is still alive. somewhere (this I have confirmed)
I’ve skipped around the steps but the gist still remains.

1. Denial

for the 1st month or so I would email her , and think she was just busy, and that all would be fine,… however no emails were replied to so I would call only to find that all phone lines were dead. I always said she was very dedicated in everything she did.

2. Isolation

This I still do… The theory is evident. If your alone no one can hurt you but yourself. This was also my theory before her however, I could not help but fall in love with such a wonderful person who returned the affection 10 fold. In fact it was even her that 1st declared her love.

It may have gone a step beyond though. I don’t leave the place for weeks at a time. I grocery shop at 3 in the morning. I buy in bulk so I don’t have to go grocery shopping as often. I dedicate one day a month to banking/making the rounds/post office/paying bills. Other than that I’m pretty close to a hermit.

3.Anger

Towards her,. it pains me to say there was some. Not at the who but rather so the why. I am now still unsure of the why however I have no anger harbored towards it fore everything she did was for a sound reason that had practical applications. Yet the why I am still no aware of.

Still there is much much anger. Its more than anger. It is rage, it is vehemence, it is impassioned , it is fury it is hate. So much hate. Hate is a word of such a high caliber, so vile and treacherous, I try and only reserve it for myself. I hate myself. I am disappointed in myself. I rage against myself. I feel only resentment towards myself.


4. Bargaining

I tried to communicate with her. I offered to sell the house. I thought perhaps if I liquidated everything so I could fund her research. What if I moved to be with her. I was willing to do anything. (to some extent I still am willing, though not as able)

I tried to make deals with the devil but my soul was already given to her. She would always say her heart was mine, I would always tell her I could not trust myself with something so,. delicate, wonderers, amazing. That it was best she held on to it whilst also holding on to mine.

I offered her everything I had through intermediaries, though I am not entirely sure the message may have gotten to her.

5. Depression

Nothing but. I am horribly depressed, but I’ve been like this for so long it’s the only normalcy I know. I am a realist to some extent. (now I am) I hold no hopes for better days. I am not seeking a savior, nor do I expect her to ever return.
What for? Why would someone so amazing ever return to a disappointment? And at that, I am only a shell of the person she once knew. Inside the wind blows through hollowed halls. There is not much left with the exception of a crumbling façade.


6. Acceptance.

This may not come to be. Ultimately Elizabeth will never be dead to me, nor is she dead. She will be the fantasy I use. I will close my eyes and dream of hers and try to be happy for a moment, I will try to forget. And when I wake up/snap back to reality… I will be back in purgatory.

Elizabeth will have many years filled with much happiness and success. She’ll will it so and it will be done.

My time however will come to a conclusion much sooner nor will I fight it when death knocks at my door.

I will simply accept it.

¶ 9/09/2004 06:17:00 AM //

It’s odd. I have a lot of old friends/acquaintances stepping back in to my life as of late, and they always tell me I look like shit. That I’ve really aged. So on and so forth. Then they always ask about Elizabeth. It’s come to the point that sometimes I don’t know what to say. I reach inside for something to clutch but find nothing left. For the most part, they are in a state of disbelief when I tell them. They expected us to have at least been married by now. (so did I ).

Today I found my self daydreaming about our marriage.(which will never be)
Where would it be? Whom would come? I thought about all the complications so on and so forth. Elizabeth didn’t want one in a church. Furthmore had I gone through with it I would had been disowned so having the ceremony at out family house was out of the question. The house where my father , grand father, great grand father , my ancestors , as far back as our name goes every one has been married on the family soil (I’m sure the roof has been changed a few times) Yet by giving myself to an outsider I would no long be welcome there.

I once mentioned at sea, by a captain. She seemed to like the idea. Elizabeth was very cosmopolitan in fashion. I always imagined her in a contemporized modern wedding dress. Elegant, simple, as was she.


Phantom watch

Latly I’ve taken off my watch, set it aside and then looked to my wrist at time and sworn it was as though I was still wearing a watch. Like a phantom watch. No real point but I just wanted to stick in something domestic.



p.s. yes every ones comments were deleted.
Hloscan is far too unreliable. thus i've drunken the kool-aid and implemented blogger commenting.

¶ 9/09/2004 05:16:00 AM //

I t was the oddest series of events, something I don’t think I could have foreseen the events unfolding as they did.

About a week ago a breaker at the place in NY blew. This was the monster 60 amp breaker that ran all the security devices, Redundant power supplies for the computers , and portions of the home entertainment system. For those who know anything about levels of electrical service 60 amps is a massive massive amount.
Some house don’t have 60 amps let alone to have 60 amps on one line.

It was odd and the wire was extremely hot (to the point of burning myself if I was to hold it too long) Now my tenants being as they are tried to fix it themselves (the same ones with the water heater problem that could have been repaired but instead had to be replaced thanks to them) So here they did a repeat and only called when it started spewing sparks.

The same hack contractor who re did the kitchen and the bathrooms taped in to the 60 amp line running everything form it (Which explains a lot) and thus… the wires burned and I fixed the problem to the best of my abilities… and was left with a place that had was only 60% operational plus tenants who love to try to fix things yet blame me when they don’t work.

This left me placing a call to my father (who has a degree in electrical engineering he never uses) From there he goes in to this old man speech he has perfected over the last few years (ie: “ you know the wires are used to carry electricity over,… and if you turn off the breaker it will turn off the electricity” so on and so forth) SO he tells me he will pay me a visit (I had just committed myself to try and not speak to them in light of the cancer. Thus I found myself dismayed.)

He came the next day and armed with his cell phone placed calls at a pace which had me charging his batteries 3 times a day…. He had talked to a uncle I had not seen in years yet was very highly regarded. My uncle said he would dispatch a electrician he knew to take a look at it … and the news was not good.

Seeing as how I have a set up which would never pass a building inspection he tried to do it off the books but it would not be possible by this man who we later found out wanted 15,000 usd (that’s the box right there)

Usually if I need my hands on over 10,000 usd it takes 2 weeks (min) as I try to have anything over that amount in the markets, at lest have it working for me. (be it even in gold)

So my father mentioned its there sort of situation which can’t be properly communicated over the phone and that a meeting would need to be arranged, and he would have to sit down with my uncle.

He lives in NYC as well and has for a few decades I believe. He has a 2 other homes I believe. One in Pennsylvania and another one in long island. I can’t be sure though. This uncle… well he’s not really a uncle. More so my grandfathers brother. There is a word for it in Punjabi that doesn’t translate in to English.

None the less when we met. He was not the person I recalled form many years ago. I guess I wasn’t a child any more but it was undeniable the place he heralded in this branch of the family.

This branch of the family as I am lead to believe has 3 sub divisions which are split 25/25/50

My uncle share with another 25 each (50 total) to which my uncle in question is head of the 50 and my father head of the other 50 however when this branch needs to present a unified front he is the elder to which the questions are directed/ orders are given. Some times I thank god its not my father (for his antics)

Greetings were given and then it was as though I sat down at a mafioso type meeting (to which I will reluctantly admit I have been my share of) and it was as though it was a scene out of the godfather. My uncle only speaks in a low voice. I have never head him talk above his normal tone then again its as though the rooms gets quiet when he opens his mouth. He must have either decided to include me/ scare me so he let me listen. Or he assumed my linguistics were not up to par (every one in my family for the most part has a min. of 3 languages,… but the average is 5)

He went on to talk of another uncle. A cousin of my father. He went in to how this uncle has a close relation to his branch so he feel he should delegate the task unto my father. This incident took place overseas at a family house which My father’s cousin is considered the logistical head as the figurative one is too well… well old.
My uncle (the godfather) went over there and he mentioned how another uncle (fathers cousins brother , it’s the family that never ends) drove up past their convoy in his motorcycle, cut them off and went in to the house. This could had been avoided as he could had possibly not paid notice to the flags on the cars. However Later as my uncle (the godfather) was seated outside he (the suspect) walked passed them with out paying them a hello.

This was the crime, even I who will be the 1st to admit am the last one who is up to date on my customs knows this is a hanging crime. My uncle went in to with my father how he had no respect and does not realize what monumental favors out branch has done for theirs over the centuries. Furthermore that such a act of disrespect should not go unpunished. This was the 2nd incident in a 6 month frame and that something had to be done.

Beyond this I did not get much however… I’m guessing possibly a car bombing. Perhaps a horse slaughtered (I’ve seen these done in the past) Once I recalled a raid by security forced and mock executions. Now to our branch such a incursion could not be feasible as our exorbited security budget… but no one else lives under such a looming threat to be dethroned.

Later my uncle turns to me and says he will send someone by at 2:30 to take a look. I though tit funny as we didn’t speak of my problems much. Perhaps the fact we paid a visit in person was enough .

The next day someone came by…4 hours late. As an act of diplomacy he lowered the price and it was half of the other guy. 7,500 usd which is still a lot more than I wished to pay however… now everything should run flawlessly. I am still worried about the sparks and the building inspectors . I couldn’t eat/sleep for a few days so I went off on vacation...which turned out to be not such a great vacation

I’ll find out next week ho wit goes and hopefully resume a better frequency in which I will write post (I write a lot yet post a fraction.) Still lots more happened yet only a fraction made it here and I have as of yet to reply to anyone in any capacity until I touch base again in NYC on Tuesday Provided the 60% I left with is still there.

¶ 9/05/2004 10:12:00 PM //